People change. That's the normal thing for us, human. Some people change from bad to good and vice versa. But it ain't easy to change our bad behaviour. I admit i also have one bad behaviour. A behaviour that eventually lead to sin. I tried so hard to throw it away from me. I still struggle for it.
May Allah forgive our sins for He is most merciful and oft-forgiving.
At one particular moment, i almost gave up and let my nafsu took away my brain and my heart. That is the moment i feel like i'm the devil myself. Then the dark side of me came out. I am a weak person for letting my nafsu control my body.
Indeed the door to repentance is always open to those who seek
I know i'm a muslim. But why i'm not acting like one? it's like you're a human but you're acting like a monkey. For a while, i realize the reason why i keep doing the same sin. Then i prayed to Allah with all my heart. At that moment i felt some connection between me and Him. I surrender myself to Him.
The past is a link to the future. Don't forget the past but learn from it.
Today, i am not a new person but a better person. Change does not require you to be a totally different person but a better one. It might took a year or our whole life to change us, but in the end it is worth struggling for it. It is a continuing process. My advice, don't rush for a change.
We have to believe in ourself and to Allah we submit.